The Same Wound Flav????

The same things are not happening to you coincidentally sis. Let's just start there. You know that feeling of deja vu? Where it feels like you are being met with the same kind of person again and again? Or that you keep going through the same cycles with people or a person? Sometimes we get that feeling of hope and we start saying to ourselves "maybe this time it will be different" "maybe this is a sign" "maybe we are meant to be". Now I will not say all, but in MOST cases these are karmic connections. These connections are our lessons, where we are meant to learn something from the encounter. Often times we confuse this with fate, destiny, a soulmate, a twin flame, but sometimes these people reoccur in our lives because 1. let's face it, people do what you allow, but 2. Sometimes when you absolutely cannot shake a situation it could be more for you to learn, something you just have not grasped yet. You'll know when this is, because people come back and they do not change. Or you simply have that feeling of still not being fulfilled. While you took the time a part to get yourself together, to heal and to mature, they test you by coming back as the same person they were and it is then up to you to either fall back into the cycle or to break it. Sometimes you even break cycles with individuals, but the same lesson or the same kind of person will reappear. Same lesson, different vessel. We all have our breaking points. From the outside looking in, it may be as simple as a block button, but when you are truly dealing with someone who is a karmic connection the feeling is unexplainable. It's like you tell yourself no, but there's still some part of you saying yes. Only you know your limit and only you can identify the lesson that needs to learned. I know the responsibility sounds tough and intimidating, but there is beauty in it being your choice. The fact that this is all up to you and your effort to be better, the fact that it is not in someone else's hands. It's encouraging to know that it is measured by your own self discipline. It truly highlights how we are the narrators of our own stories.

It took deep thought, extensive reflection and brutal honesty with myself to come to terms with the fact that some of the people I thought may have had real feelings for me, really hold on to me because I have allowed them to. If I am being honest, I am still unsure of the lessons I need to learn in my love life and to be even more honest, it may take extra assistance for me to figure out. As honest as I think I am with myself, I still have my own perspective on how things have been and even though people cannot tell you how you should feel, they may can help you navigate through your emotions and help you come to your own conclusions. One of the biggest things that has comforted me during this time of sorting out what's for me and what isn't is keeping in mind the bright side of it all because there always is one. When you list out all of your wants and needs, your do's and dont's and you become clearer on people's intentions, it makes me feel good knowing that I am able to prevent myself from unnecessary heartache before it happens where in the past I may have been oblivious to it all. Thank God for experience right? I also find beauty in knowing that everything I want is out there, it's just a matter of timing and preparing myself for the moment it arrives to me. Now, one of the scariest things that Ive realized in this process is knowing the possibility of coming in contact with what is for me and self sabotaging it because of my past. Because of that single think piece, I finally see the importance of self love! To me, people would always say self love is the best love while simultaneously having a companion. The comment just didn't deliver in the most sincerest way, however now self love has gained a whole new meaning for me. Having this time alone to myself has opened my eyes to who I am as my own person. Ive had time to think about my goals, where I see myself in 5 years, stability is huge on my list and knowing that with or without a companion, these things still have to happen encourages me to keep pushing forward and not sulk in my sadness or disaapointment. In knowing that, it really puts into perspective that life goes on. Life, your goals, your hopes and your dreams are still yours to fulfill. Putting your focus on other people and losing track of yourself can sometimes be the very reason you are not being rewarded the other things you want in life. Sometimes it takes focus, alignment and sacrifice to receive the blessings you are looking for. During this time of solitude, it has also allowed me to understand that there are some things I want to have in order before welcoming in something that is long term. With all this in mind, it has been enjoyable to focus on myself, make myself happy and knowing that within this I have also prepared myself a little better to be able to split my focus on someone else when that time comes.

Let's be real, its easy to be fooled in love. We're human, we naturally crave companionship. As women, we know just how messy that can get when we allow too many people in, especially too many of the wrong people in, but its extremely important to sometimes lead with your brain and not with your heart because it can be easy to fall into things that you knew better to be involved in. Journaling has been my best friend. Something about putting pen to paper makes feel like I am taking it in better and organizing my thoughts. Listing out what it is you want, what you do not want and if I am being completely honest sometimes I have specific people in mind and I dissect what I did not like about them, what I enjoyed, what I can do without and what I need more of. I also, have very honest conversations with myself. Remind yourself in the most graceful way that it is ok to feel, but not to dwell. That it is ok to be hurt, but not to sulk. It is ok to be vulnerable, but not gullible. Hype yourself up!! You know that you are intelligent, independent, beautiful, strong, stylish, determined, etc. These are the things you tell yourself in the darkest hour to remind yourself that you deserve more than what you are going through. Trust that what you want is making its way to you and that everything that is in your control you have the power to fix. As women we sometimes imagine the entire picture, we overwhelm ourselves, but when we take things day by day, moment by moment, we gain more control and become more clear. Be gentle with yourself, you're mot stupid! You're human and we all tolerate more than we should at times. There's power in truth and the honesty we have with ourselves is what will help us ween out what is not for us. The same wounds we keep picking at are the wounds we need to finally heal.