Test the Waters

"You never know until you try" one of the biggest motivating forces that drives me to just do it. I've always been rebellious. If someone said no, I just had to figure it out for myself. It's both a blessing a curse, but more so a blessing because I was never one to block my blessings.

In May 2014, I graduated high school and I just knew that was the end of education for me. I had no plans of going to college, I just thought school wasn't for me and I didn't have an interest in continuing it. I had plans of relocating and starting my life, but being indecisive prolonged my decision. Essentially I wasn't ready to just up and leave. Thanks to my mom, she encouraged me to go to school and try it out. Fast forward to August 2014, a week before school was in session, I committed to my current university hesitant and fearful of what was in store. Being the nonchalant person that I am, when school arrived, I just went with the flow. Didn't really engage in the social life much until like a month or so in to school. I had no friends, I wasn't in any clubs, I was the new girl on campus, I just felt out of place. It wasn't until I started to travel places outside of the four white walls in my dorm room, that I started to loosen up and get into gear. I went from being this quite/anti-social/timid girl to cheering to modeling to community service groups to doing a pageant to coordinating my own pageant to hosting my own events to joining various other groups. When I first went to college, I was shy, I didn't like looking people in the eyes when I spoke. I covered my face and hid behind clothes because I was insecure. I was boy shy, anytime a guy would come near me I would freeze. 4 years later, I am more social, more confident and more secure in what I have to offer. This was all thanks to a new experience that I thought would not benefit me. I had no idea that I would grow so much just from being in a place with new people. There were times where I doubted my decision. I looked at other people and thought that I wasn't doing enough, that I held myself back, that I should have done something else, but everyday I was reassured of why my decision was best for me. I feel more prepared and mentally ready to take on things because I paced myself and allowed myself to live and experience before just jumping into the real world. And to think, I almost didn't go all because of the perception I had about college. I can't even imagine if I didn't go. Would I still be shy? Would I be as inspired?

Years of going through college, I FINALLY realized that it was all aligned. The decision I made was the best decision I could have made because it got me to where I am today.

To those who are hesitant about new experiences, don't be! Almost everything is worth a try. You never know what that door may have for you. You never know who or what is behind that door until you open it. What I can say is, whatever decision you make, be confident. Stand behind your decision and don't let anyone make you feel bad for what your heart feels. Do not look to other people to make decisions on your life! You are the only one who can decide what is best for you. You are the only one living your life and walking in your shoes. What worked for someone else, may not work for you and that is fine! Do not block your blessings! The decisions you make can lead you to exactly where you wanted to be. Trust the entire process, the beginning, the middle and especially the end.